Is it worth it
by Vampire Priest
Summary: Finn and Jake go to tell Marceline of a quest in the Enchiridion, but when they arrive they find her in the middle of a fight, then run to her aid.
1. How to end a death battle

How to end a Death Battle

Finn and Jake had come over to Marceline's house bringing news of a quest from the Enchiridien. But at one hundred feet from the house they heard a loud crash and began to run. Fifty feet away they caught the girl they had come to see as shehe flew threw the newly made window deliberately placed in the exact center of the wall. Finn said, "Whoa! What's going on?"

"Some weird vamp showed up called me a vampire demon and is trying to kill me. This fight's been going on for hours."

"Don't worry MarMar we'll protect you" as Finn spoke the previous sentence a man clad in a black tuxedo white dress shirt and red tie armed with a sword with a design resembling a dragon slowly walked out the front door and flapped his bright white wings in such a manner that the subsequent wind lifted his top hat into the air and he quickly caught it, placed it on his head, looked down to find a boy and a dog acting as meat shields so he said, "she may not look it but she is a dangerous vampire not worth protection I am not one to strike an innocent bystander leave before she turns on you."

"Marceline would never betray us and we would never betray her!"

"When I scanned this universe for malice in my search I found that the strongest un-fought urge to kill was within this immortal girl."

"Who are you calling a girl I'm like five hundred years old."

"Young one are you saying you're not female?"

"No I am a... Wait how old are you?"

"Two millennia."

"Why pick now to start a fight when you could have come earlier and saved us all the trouble?"

"I have picked this time because I was busier before what with scouring other universes for entertainment." She got up and started swinging at him shifting the shape of both arms into blades. "If you wanted entertainment you should have stayed home and watched anime like a normal person." He swung his sword but immediately stopped when Finn positioned himself in the blade's path, " I'd have done so gladly had I not been to busy visiting their universes and deciding wether I'd watch based on the characters and not the plot." Jake shook his head and groaned knowing he would regret his decision later. He then got between the two and stretched himself into an orange brick wall and saying, "Alright that's enough! This fight is getting you nowhere. Can't we all just get along?" He sheathed his sword and said, "what right have you to stop our fight?" a dark red circle formed around his feet and a bloody tentacle began to slowly rise. Jake began to whimper and said, "J-j-j-just hear me out." The ring and the tentacle disappeared, "you have five minutes."

"W-well you should stop fighting because... because ... OH! Because it's been going on for an hour, you're both vampires, you're both really strong, neither of you is tired yet. Man they're really coming now, and because we still need to go on the adventure we came to do with her."

"Wait why would I want to do a quest"

"It's not for you it's for Simon."

"*gasp* Simon" the man waved his hand and all the damage done to the house was gone, "seeing that your vampire friend thinks of people other than herself before making a decision I will cease my assault and would willingly allow any harm you would inflict on me" Jake shrunk himself and Marceline began to angrily and reluctantly storm over to him and about a foot away from him he grabbed her ankle and stopped her foot before it could land on Jake and she did not take it well. She tackled him and said, "I knew we couldn't trust him" Jake returned to normal size and said, "no wait I think he was just trying to stop you from stepping on me." She looked down at him and said, "Oh... my bad."

"No harm no foul."

"You could've said something"

"You wouldn't have listened you were battling internally looking for a reason to not trust me"

"I guess you've got a point"

"In any case you should probably get off me"

"What?"

"Your crushing my wings" she jumped off, he rose to a seated position and said,

"Arigato." He then proceeded to pull a red collar out of, what seems like, nowhere then put it on and handed the leash to Marceline and said, "so long as it is within my power ask of me and whatever it may be you shall receive." Finn and Jake walked over to Marceline's house with her and their new "friend" before telling her the news. Finn and Jake took turns telling her of the quest, "in the Enchiridien we found a quest"

"And we needed to tell you as soon as possible"

"Because this quest"

"Can permanently restore"

"Someone's sanity" Marceline sat in shock not knowing wether to rejoice because she would have her old Simon back or be saddened by the loss of the ice king then she remembered that they had been fighting so long she had forgotten to ask his name, "yo" she said looking down at the dapper man lying at her feet he looked up and responded with, "sup?"

"We forgot to ask you your name"

"I don't really have a name my father never gave me one"

"Then what do people normally call you?"

"People normally refer to me as AMX but call me what you will I don't really care for names anyway"

"Well I'm gonna call you spike because your acting like a stereotypical dog right now what do ya think about that?"

"I already told you I don't care" he then fell asleep and they discussed what they would need for the quest only to arrive at the decision that the last time Jake and Marceline were on a quest together they both went insane with hunger and that Marceline might be better off going alone by her decision.


	2. Mission Start

Mission Start

Marceline packed a three ton bag full of red things and put it on the back of the nameless man who agreed to call it even if he did this quest with her and get their reward to Simon so Finn gave her the map and sent her off to cure Simon's insanity soon after they entered the dungeon all the princesses had heard what she was planning on doing and had come from far and wide to offer their support in the form of more red things for the man to carry. She looked down at the man who agreed to go with her and said, "you ok Spike?"

"Just peachy thanks"

"Oh good, because I don't want you slowing me down."

"Race you to the hundred yard mark"

"When will we know when that is?"

I'll throw my sword about a hundred yards and whoever gets there first wins"

"Wins what?"

"I don't know. Bragging rights?"

"Nah. That's lame."

"So what then?"

"I don't know let's just forget the whole thing"

"I'm good with that."

"And thanks for losing that whole accent thing it wasn't working for you anyway"

"Doth mine ears hear correctly? Are you opposed to me speaking in such a manner?"

"I can't understand half the words your saying. Just talk normal talk"

"As you wish. So what now?"

"The quest! Stupid angel vampire thing"

"Right." So they walked into the dungeon through about fifty doors ran out of red and found the reward at the end a flower that sprouts when someone comes in search of it and when turned into tea can restore one's sanity. She plucked the flower and he put it in the thermos full of hot water he just happened to be carrying around half way back Marceline said, "hey Spike"

"Yea Marcy?"

"You get the tea to Simon I'm gonna take a nap"

"Your sleeping at a time like this? You finally found a way to help your friend and you decide to take a nap?"

"Well I don't think you'd carry me the rest of the way. I'm so hungry. I might kill you."

"To be fair *picks her up* you were going to kill me earlier today"

"No I might bite you"

"Well if you do just make sure it's in the same place as the first mark"

"Ok I'll do that *opens mouth*"

"No I mean if you have no self control"

"But I don't anymore I can smell the blood from the holes in your neck *bite*"

"I think now is a good time to tell you the ph number of my blood is one"

"(While drinking) what means that"

"It means my blood can melt the face off a mountain"

"(Stops then starts again) I have self healing powers"

"And you think I don't *collapses*"

"What's wrong?"

"You're going to have to carry me the rest of the way"

"Okay *picks him up*"

"Can you stop drinking my blood?"

"Not till we get out"

By the time they got out it was daylight and the second the sun hit her she dropped him outside and had to go back inside until the sun set in twelve hours. He got up and did something she hadn't seen him do yet. He punched the ground with all his remaining strength (it wasn't that much) and the entire ground turned red soon hundreds of red tentacles stabbed him all over and became a part of him completely disappearing into his body and completely replacing all the blood he lost then the ground went back to normal and he stood tall under the rising sun and looked back to Marceline without a single burn on his face. He walked over to her and offered her shade from beneath his hat and she turned into a bat got in his hat and they went back to her cave where he gave her the tea then she asked that he explain to her why to him the sun didn't seem grim. Then he explained how only parts of his face are exposed because of his gloves, tux, tube socks, long pants, bandana, shades and top hat.


	3. To cure insanity

To cure insanity

Now that Marcy, AMX, Finn, and Jake had the permanent cure for insanity the only problem was getting the ice king to drink it. Finn suggested that they force feed him the tea and Jake agreed but AMX said he would try to spit it out or might see them coming and quote "ice the tea" So Marceline said, "maybe we could invite Ice king to a tea party and tell him we made his special?"

"That's a great idea now all we need are other guests."

"How about we invite a bunch of princesses and tell Ice King who'll be there"

" or tell him you invited all those princesses but give them a later time so that when he gets there early you make sure he gets his special tea and all the princesses can celebrate Simon never kidnapping them again"

"Awesome but, what if they don't show?"

"All Ice King needs is to know they're invited and he'll come with bells on, but we need at least one guest who will be earlier than Ice King in case he shows up on time"

"You don't think he'll show up on time?"

"I'm afraid he'll show up early if he knows the guest list" They all discussed who would be their first guest and of course Finn suggested princess bubble gum, flame princess, and Canyon in that order, then AMX fell asleep standing up and fell on, and broke, the coffee table so they decided that it might be time to call it a day and go to sleep (at Marceline's house) for now.

After a few hours he woke up, jumped, and stood yelling with all his might, "I'M UP!" Which startled Marceline only for him to fall asleep again but next to her and she was too tired to get up so she just went back to sleep.

After a couple of hours Marceline woke up for a snack but couldn't get up because someone had shifted in his sleep and she couldn't be bothered to move him so she snaked her way around him and bit him again drink a few sips of blood and fell asleep with her fangs in his neck.

After Finn and Jake woke up Jake saw Marceline with her fangs in AMX's neck and quietly tried to tell his brother not to wake them but he couldn't hear him so he asked him, "WHAT!" Which woke them both up and when they noticed the position they were in AMX asked, "Why we're you drinking my blood?" Her face grew red but it soon disappeared and she said, "I was hungry and you were in my way."

"The couch is red, I've seen you drink red before, you didn't have to bite me."

"I didn't want a white couch and I don't"

"You don't have to get so defensive I was only asking why" her face turned temporarily red again, "I didn't feel like moving you out of my way so since you were right there and you let me have a drink before I thought you wouldn't mind"

"Even though I said 'if you have no self control' and you sucked me dry and had to carry me to the exit you thought it okay to drink again."

"If you were me you'd have done the same thing."

"But I'm not you. I've never drunk blood before and since I became a vampire a hundred years ago I've been in a constant state of starvation."

"I thought you said you were two thousand years old. Now you're saying that you became a vampire a hundred years ago which is it."

"It's both I'd love to explain my immortality to you more but we were talking about you not me let's not change the subject."

"No, wait... we need to do the tea party thing."

"Alright then call the most gossipy princess tell her to invite all the other princesses on our list and get the guest of honor to show up as soon as we have the first princess here to convince Simon that the tea party is legit."

"Well Finn get Bonnie"

"On it"

"Jake call up Lsp and tell her to invite every princess in Oo."

"Great idea" AMX looked out the window saw Lsp and said, "how about we tell slime princess to invite everyone except Lsp" she was watching through the window and she ran away and told turtle princess what happened then princess bubble gum until everyone knew about the party and right behind her was Jake telling them that this was the easiest way to invite all the princesses knowing Lsp would come even if she wasn't invited

At the party Lsp was the first princess to show up at the door AMX was standing guard she said, "look I invited everyone you can let me into your party now."

"Lsp I saw you in the window. You _are_ invited just wait, for the first time your not the one crashing the party." She looked into the window and said, "Oh my glob it's ICE-" he tackled her and yelled, "Jake your on Lsp duty" when he took his hand off Lsp's mouth she wouldn't stop screaming, "OH MY GLOB" over and over until Jake calmed her down and AMX ran inside and saw that Marceline was having trouble getting Simon to drink his tea so he gave princess bubble gum a paper with something scribbled in illegible script she sat there squinting to read the first line which said, "read this, it's the only way to keep him from relentlessly pursuing you" in parentheses. After a while Marceline gave up on Simon and gave the tea to AMX saying, "good luck spike"

He entered holding his tea in his right hand and Ice king's tea in the other. He said, "why aren't you drinking your tea?"

"I don't like tea."

"But we got all these princesses here for a tea party"

"Say what?"

"You know if you had just been more charismatic and drunk your tea like a normal old person you'd get more princesses coming to you... *sips tea* then you wouldn't have to kidnap anyone... *slurps tea* Finn and Jake would be friends with you... *gulps tea* and you could chose to marry any princess you want. *sets cup down*"

"R-really?"

"Yeah at least hold it *hands him the small cup*" enter PB, "Hey mega rad cool guy you like tea too."

"Ha hoho. I think it's working."

"Yeah maybe it'll work better when you drink your tea"

"Ha-okay" he obediently drank his tea

* * *

AN: congratulations you finished reading this fanfic! If you work for cartoon network at least ask first before you steal my plot and turn it into a shit fest of an episode like in teen titans go. Yea I know you turned my admittedly horrible story into several somehow worse episodes of a crappy spinoff. If you don't work for cartoon network and you read that anyway try reading the first fanfic I ever wrote and watch the show take a drink every time you see a similarity it's fun for all the family.


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